


the minutes in-between

by toastyhyun



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character, background Kim Wonshik/Lee Jaehwan, supportive bf jongin helping nb taemin thru their dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 14:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toastyhyun/pseuds/toastyhyun
Summary: “You look pretty,” says Jongin, and reaches up to tuck Taemin’s hair behind their ear. They open their mouth, no doubt to protest, but he continues before they can, “And you also look handsome. You’re as confusingly beautiful as you always are.”“It’s not right,” they say, head turning from Jongin to glance back at the mirror. They push a hand through their hair, from their forehead and back, grip seizing in it at the back of their head. “I want it all off.”





	the minutes in-between

**Author's Note:**

> for kayla, [@taestykai](http://twitter.com/taestykai) on twitter, just because. 
> 
> a branch off of [tunnel vision](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685138), a kenvi fic of mine, set in the same universe. taemin is nb (they/them) and jongin is their gay bf who loves them very much.

“Oh, god, that reminds me of that one time in high school! Where you saw your crush in the crowd right in the middle of a recital and completely forgot a routine? Just stood there and stared at him until Jimin ran into you and knocked the both of you over.”

The room erupts into a bout of tittering as Wonshik splutters and stutters and tries to reign the conversation back in to what he’d been talking about, but Jaehwan’s giggling beside him distracts him enough to keep him from capturing the attention of the group once more before Taemin swoops in to finish what Jongin’s started.

“We had to stop the whole show to make sure you didn’t have a concussion,” they say, and when Jongin looks over they’ve got that shit-eating grin on their face he loves. “All because you’re a useless gay who shortcircuits at the mention of a cute boy.”

“He really hasn’t changed much,” says Jaehwan, teeth caught on his lip in a clear unsuccessful effort to try and keep the smirk he has off his face. “You should see the way he acts when I wear his clothes. Just completely shuts down.”

Everyone laughs yet again, and a couple newer members Jongin doesn’t quite recognize throw in their own goodhearted jabs when there’s space to. Wonshik is looking at him and Taemin with such a mix of exasperation and fondness that Jongin can’t help but snicker to himself, leaning over to rest his head on Taemin’s shoulder. 

“Why don’t we do this more often, again?” He murmurs to his partner under the noise of the group taking turns roasting Wonshik, reaching to find their hand and tangle his fingers with theirs.

“Meetings are usually on the same day as practice is,” says Taemin, leaning down enough to where the wisps of hair that fall out of their ponytail tickle Jongin’s ear and the side of his neck, making him squirm a little. “As fun as fucking with him is, I do value my grade a bit more.”

Jongin hums his agreement and settles in against Taemin’s side to enjoy watching Wonshik struggle to bring the GSA meeting back into proper order, letting his partner extract their hand and use it to animatedly tell another embarrassing story right when he’s about to turn things around again. He closes his eyes, relishes the warmth of his partner against him, and falls into a half-nap at their side.

\---

Later, when GSA is over and they’ve gone back home together to rest a bit on one of their rare days off together, Jongin stops to think about Wonshik and Jaehwan.

“He’s good for Wonshik, isn’t he?” He says from where he’s laid down width-wise across their bed, hands folded over his stomach. Him, Taemin, and Wonshik have been friends since high school, three queers flocking together like birds before they’d even discovered themselves, Wonshik’s coming out triggering Jongin and then Taemin to evaluate themselves in that order. 

Even after Jongin and Taemin had gotten together, right before prom, it hadn’t stopped them from being close friends, the two of them doing their best not to make him feel like a third wheel -- not that he ever complained of it. They don’t see each other nearly as often as in high school, especially not as Jongin and Taemin had ascended the rungs of the dance department ladder and Wonshik had taken on his TA responsibilities, but their group chat is still as active as ever. Wonshik, at least to Jongin, is still one of his better friends.

“Who, Jaehwan?” Taemin replies. They’re in front of the mirror that covers most of the back of the door that leads into the bathroom attached to their bedroom, as they have been for the past twenty minutes, trying to pick out an outfit. The two of them are going out for a rare date, a movie and then dinner at a restau. There aren’t many days the two of them get off to be able to, at least not without feeling too exhausted to leave their apartment.

“Yeah,” replies Jongin, counting the dots freckling the ceiling. He didn’t change much himself, switching out his sweats for a nicer pair of jeans and tucking a blazer over the button-up he’d already had on. “After Chiwoong…”

“You mean Xydo?” Taemin teases, and without looking Jongin can hear the smile in their voice, the amusement. 

“What_ever_ he wants to call himself,” huffs Jongin, eyes rolling. Jongin tolerates Wonshik releasing his music under the name Ravi only because they’re friends, but secretly he thinks it’s a little silly. “He was a dickhead anyways. Ghosting somebody is so…”

“Cowardly,” finishes Taemin. “I agree with you. Jaehwan seems like he’s actually as into Wonshik as Wonshik is into him. God knows how often that’s happened.”

“Has it ever?” Jongin asks, not quite expecting an answer. It’s not that people haven’t been into Wonshik at all -- it’s just that Wonshik has _so much_ love to give. He says as much out loud.

“I mean, if anyone could suck up all the attention Wonshik wants to give them, I think it’d be Jaehwan.” There’s a rustling, which Jongin assumes is Taemin changing out of one outfit and into another, a little bit of frustration leaking into their voice as they do. “What time is it?”

Jongin gropes around blindly at the bed beside him for his phone, only narrowly avoiding dropping it on his face when he brings it up to check the time by catching it at the last second. “Six.”

“Shit.” There’s a wavering note underlying their voice that has Jongin sitting up all the way, concern washing over him. 

“What’s wrong?” He gets up to come stand behind Taemin from where they’re staring at the mirror, one hand falling to their hip. He can’t see anything wrong -- they’ve got their nice slacks on, blouse tucked into them, the line of their body as paradoxically lithe and muscular as it always has been, and they’ve let their hair down the way he loves. It falls to their shoulders, curling prettily at the ends before their fingers curl into it and they begin to tug, anxiously.

“I’m going to cut all of this off,” they say, wobbly. “It’s fucking-- it’s… everything’s messed up. It doesn’t look right.”

“It looks fine, babe,” soothes Jongin, dropping his hand from their hip and instead reaching up to unwind their grip from their own hair. “What’s making you think it looks bad?”

Taemin’s mouth opens, then closes, and they frown in that stubborn way where they’ve realized their dysphoria is talking but don’t want to admit it. Jongin is distressed but not surprised when he can see their eyes start to glisten, their hand squeezing his tight. He turns them away from the mirror gently, thumbing away their tears before they can fall with his other hand and trying not to let the way their lashes wet and catch with little droplets of them distract him.

“You look pretty,” says Jongin, and reaches up to tuck Taemin’s hair behind their ear with a smile. They open their mouth, no doubt to protest, but he continues before they can, “And you also look handsome. You’re as confusingly beautiful as you always are.”

“It’s not right,” they say, head turning from Jongin to glance back at the mirror. They push a hand through their hair, from their forehead and back, grip seizing in it at the back of their head. “I want it all off.”

“And tomorrow you’ll want it all back.” Jongin says as gently as he can, a hand sliding down over Taemin’s shoulder and rubbing their arm as comfortingly as he can. “You can cut it if you want to, but will that really make you feel better?”

Taemin sniffs, eyes rimmed red, and oh, god, Jongin really hopes he doesn’t cry. It’s a rare thing, and Jongin almost always ends up crying with him, and they’ll never leave the house if one of them starts. He quickly steps between Taemin and the mirror to block their view, framing either of their shoulders with his hands.

“Do you like your outfit?” He asks, and Taemin takes a moment to look down at themself before they nod, timid. “Okay. Is it just your hair?” They take another pause before nodding. “Do you trust me?” There’s no hesitation before they nod, this time.

Jongin leads them over to sit on the edge of the bed, out of view of the mirror, taking a quick trip to the bathroom to grab a brush before he returns and crawls up til he’s on his knees behind them. He pulls a hairtie off his wrist, the one he always keeps there to tie up his shirts when it gets too hot during practice, and gathers Taemin’s hair behind their ears.

He brushes their hair carefully, with a practiced ease he’d gotten from being around two sisters for years. He can hear Taemin’s breath slow from an uneven, panic-bordered pace to something steadier each time he drags the bristles through their hair, their hands unfurling from where they’d curled tight into the sheets. Their hair is soft under his hands, untangling easily, the act of combing hopefully relaxing them as much as it relaxes him.

When all is said and done, he’s pulled Taemin’s hair up into a tight bun closer to the back of their head, less feminine than it is his best imitation of…

“A manbun!” He announces out loud, once Taemin’s gotten up to see himself in the mirror, springing to his feet to tumble over and throw his arm over their shoulders. He offers the most reassuring grin he can, a little crooked but bright, hoping his partner finds it contagious enough. Their hair is wound into a tight, small bundle, small enough to barely be noticeable, to come off a bit more masculine in the way he hopes they'd been wanting but were unable to vocalize.

Taemin bubbles out a little laugh, damp but happy, a smile curling the corners of their mouth. “You’re ridiculous,” he mumbles, but he sounds more pleased and less on the brink of a panic attack. Jongin's heart turns to goo.

He glances at the clock on their bedside table briefly before giving Taemin’s shoulder a squeeze. “If you feel okay to leave now, we can still make the movie,” he says. “If you don’t, we can always order in and watch Hereditary. I don’t mind.”

Taemin spares a glance from their reflection to peer over at Jongin, squinting. “You hate scary movies.” Jongin shrugs, and Taemin pulls away from under his arm to punch his shoulder, right on the edge of playful and painful. “Stupid. Let’s go.”

Right before they’re out the door Taemin presses him up against it, their hands flush to his shoulders and body close enough to where he can feel the heat come off of it, kissing him like fire to kindling. Jongin’s body responds in turn, warming from head to toe, brain catching up just in time for Taemin to pull away again and leave him breathless, simmering, sizzling. (Maybe a bit turned on.)

“Thank you,” they say, rushed and quiet almost like they don’t want Jongin to hear, but they’re looking right at him, licking their lips afterwards and grinning. “Blowjob when we get back?”

With that, they open and bounce out the door, leaving Jongin standing there in a bit of shock, flame catching in his stomach and spreading down from there in their wake. They glance back when he doesn’t follow, rolling their eyes and continuing down the hallway of their building, speaking and laughing much too loudly when Jongin rushes after them to try to quiet them before their neighbours hear, “Hurry up and maybe you’ll get a blowie _before_ we’re back!”

**Author's Note:**

> my [twitter](http://twitter.com/toastyhyun) if you want to follow.
> 
> another link to [tunnel vision](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685138) if you like vixx or kenvi! it's got similar lgbt themes. :')
> 
> thanks for reading! kudos are always appreciated and i read/reply to every comment. love u. uwu


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